I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's never too late to be topless.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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