You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
