If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
