Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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