Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
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It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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