He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
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So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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