can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
