at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.