Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
