And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize