I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
