No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
