I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
