Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
