"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
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In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
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Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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