All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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