Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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