Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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