A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
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