Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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