One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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