I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
