VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
