she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
