does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
