Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
