I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize