Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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