I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
