Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
