Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
