I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
