every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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