there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sponge bath it is.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
