my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
