Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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