Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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