There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
