i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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