Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
oh god the rape fog is back!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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