well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I love you.
Bad choice
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
