come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
