this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
