your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
