She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
