I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You may now shotgun with the bride
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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