Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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