oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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