Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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