More tranny stories later!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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