He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
