Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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