That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
