Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
