Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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