You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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