i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
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he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
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I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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