hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
