fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i will never coherently bang her
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
