i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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