She just used a chaser for red wine.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
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Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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