all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she told me i tasted like america
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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