I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize